If you follow Tim Holtz's blog you have probably read his announcement that he has decided to end his design team. Tim Holtz has to be one of the busiest people I have ever met. After meeting him and getting some insight into all that is done to prep for his classes, all of his product development, and creative time, I really don't know how he does it all. As he explains in his post, he found managing the team was taking time that was already at a premium and decided to end the team.
I have gotten so many wonderful and kind messages since the announcement was made that I thought I should take a moment and share my thoughts here.
I am a little sad to see the team end but honestly, I am just thankful and grateful for the time that it lasted and that I was a part of it. I have been very fortunate in the last 5 years or so to be a part of many great teams and to work with many great companies in this industry. Despite all that I have done or achieved, I never would have dreamed or felt like I was in a place to be worthy of being on a team for Tim Holtz. I love the products and admire the creativity of Tim so much. When he emailed me and asked me to join the team I really had to think about it. I wasn't sure I was good enough. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to sell myself short, I do believe I am talented and have a gift for creating. But when you think of someone as being at the top of your industry and you are asked to be a part a team for that person's products, I don't think you can not ask yourself if you are good enough and if you can do it. I didn't want to not only disappoint Tim, but I also didn't want to disappoint his many faithful fans and loyal customers who might look at me for inspiration. I gave myself a pep talk and told myself that Tim wouldn't have asked me if he didn't see something he thought he could use, to trust it and believe in it. And I did and oh how glad I am that I did!
I believe that the whole thing pushed me to try harder and experiment more with my creativity. I wanted to deliver the goods and prove to myself that I deserved that spot. I think in the time that the team lasted I created some projects that were my best ever. I feel like a whole new part of my creativity opened up. It never felt like a chore or a job, it was just a pleasure. How can you not feel anything but gratitude for such a wonderful gift.
Even though the official team has ended, I don't plan to change anything about what I am doing. I love what I am doing creatively and where I am blogging and teaching. I will continue to share projects using all of Tim's signature collections because I love them and am inspired by them. My store classes in the future will also be very focused on Tim's and Ranger's products. I will still blog my projects and still share lots of instructions because it is what I enjoy doing and the way I like to share. I do intend to leave my team member badge up on my blog even though the official team has ended. It just means so much to me that I can't bear to part with it just yet. So really, here on my blog, nothing will change.
When Tim posted on his blog yesterday about the end of the team, he took the time to speak about each member and what they brought to the team. I loved what he said about each member and was so moved by his comments about me:
tammy tutterow: i must be honest when i say that she surprised me the most. i often referred to her as "tammy tutorial" (which she never knew until now) because she certainly loves sharing her artful discoveries in great detail. i never knew what tammy was going to create, and i have to say i was blown away each and every time...
Wow. How amazing is it to see someone you admire so much write such wonderful things about you? To have someone you admire so much say you blew him away, well, that is incredible and humbling. I think I may print that quote out and post it on my desk for anytime I need a positive affirmation because I smile every single time I read it.
So while it looks like a journey has ended, it really hasn't. It has really just continued on a really wonderful path that I am loving and enjoying. There is no sadness or disappointment, just gratitude. The whole experience from the first moment to the last has been a true "pinch me" moment.