I have said it before and will say it again, creative time centers and calms me. Yesterday was a tense day. I was working happily along on writing my Vintage Glimmer Tag Book class, trying to get it ready for proof reading when my husband calls. He is at work and I can instantly tell by the tone of his voice that this is serious. My husband is a police officer. Normally, I am not too worried about him on the job. You may not know this about me, but I am a police/fire/ems/911 dispatcher. I have been for about 15 years. I was full time until this year when I left, took almost 6 months off, and then went back part time. I don't work for the same department as my husband, I work in the town next door. I know what happens on a daily basis in our towns. I am not overtly worried. I know that there is always a possibility of danger but also know we can't live our lives in fear of possibilities.
So yesterday he calls and I know something is wrong. He assures me that he is okay but that there was a shooting. He isn't injured but he is going to be tied up at work for a while. He tells me that everything is by the book and okay and to not worry. We talk for maybe less than a minute. There is a lot going on and he can't talk. My anxiety went into over drive. I didn't know enough and had more questions. I sat for a long time trying to get back to writing and just couldn't. I couldn't focus, I couln't not worry. I decided that this was a good time to stop trying to work and just grab some paper and create and journal a bit and let all that was spinning in my head go onto a piece of paper.
So I created a new page for my art journal. It is really simple and not too fancy and full of technique but it did what I needed, it calmed me and helped me let go of all of the things in my head. I journaled some thoughts on plain notebook paper and then created a pocket page for the paper. The journaling is a list of jumbled thoughts that probably wouldn't be too cohesive for anyone one else to read, but that is okay, because it was for me. So often I create for the purpose of sharing, this time it was really just for me.
Today I am thankful. I am reminded not to take things for granted and assume that because nothing ever happens nothing ever will. I am thankful for my husband and his judgement. I am thankful that at the end of the day he came home. I am thankful once again that when something bad has to happen that something greater than us watched over the situation and it happened in the right way at the right time. It could have been worse but it wasn't.
I am thankful too for art and creativity, because in moments of great anxiety and uncertainty, I can turn to it and lose myself and find peace and comfort and bring myself back to center. It is truly a gift to my soul.